Please do not make an attempt to understand this post. I am only writing to make a hilarious point.
On Monday evening Kate and Liz came over to watch Twilight at mine. Liz had never seen it before and for this I kind of feel sorry for her. Why? Because Kate and I (think the books and the movie are crap and) did not give her a second’s peace throughout the entire film. We made fun of everything. Everything!!!
The fact that Bella acts like she is constantly stoned. The fact that Edward is only a vampire from the neck up (great job on makeup, people!!). The fact that no one in the film (except Charlie and James) can act AT ALL. The cameramen who have walk-on roles. The fact that when the sun shines on Edward (ick and double ick) he makes a sound like a room full of people running their fingers around wineglasses. EVERYTHING.
It was a Mystery Science Theatre 3,000 moment and I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. I just feel sorry for Liz who 1) probably thinks we are both out of our minds (conceivable!) and 2) will never, ever be able to watch another Twilight Saga film without remembering the fact that Edward has Epic Eyebrows and that we have named them (The right one is Steve and the left one is Larry), and being hysterical at watching him try to keep a straight face no matter what his emotion. DO NOT SMILE. DO NOT SMILE. WE BROOD. WE ARE BROODING AND NOTHING ELSE!!
Anyway, to make a short story even longer, we sort of watched Sixteen Candles afterwards for the sole purpose of comparing the lead men from these two films. It led us to the conclusion that Edward is actually just Jake Ryan II.
Behold the proof:
I think we can all admit that we are geniuses of the first water.
And I really have nothing else to say about it.